After having spent nearly 20 years as a public relations and communication strategist, I'm sure some are wondering why I'm a life coach and what the heck that means?! To be clear, I actually enjoyed my career as a communications professional and I am very blessed to have had the experiences I've had. I can honestly say that I've mastered a lot of different skills, but the ones that I take with me everyday have very little to do with communication skills and everything to do with people. I'm an ace problem solver; I can see the opportunity in all situations; I can find the most common denominator in people regardless of race, gender or sexual preference; I know how to elevate above a situation and see all the moving parts; I know how to humble myself; I can hear what isn’t said; and I learned that in order to convince, we must listen (Seek to gain understanding, not be understood.) But the truth is, I’ve always been able to see inside, get to the root of people and see their fears, their ambitions, and most importantly their super powers.
I was moving forward in life, trying to do all things I was "supposed" to do. You know, checking my boxes. Then at 39, I had some questions for myself. One being, 'where did I get these stupid boxes and who said I had to check them'? So, I started searching. I made a lot of big changes in my life. I'm most certain my family and friends thought I was being rather rash, but something was happening with me and I knew it was time to listen to myself. Three years ago, I wrote this in my journal after I'd been digging into myself for about 6 months. (Yes, I'm publishing an unedited excerpt from my personal diary. Excuse the profanity.)
April 4, 2017
I’m here, now what? I’m at this moment where I am fully aware of my ability to manifest my life and desires; I’m wise enough to realize what’s really important; I’m compassionate enough to have understanding for those who hurt me (intentionally and unintentionally); I love myself enough to know that self care is of the utmost importance; I’ve experienced enough synchronicities and awakening moments to know for certain that God is everywhere; I believe in myself enough to have “crazy faith” to move through life as if the life I want is already mine…and yet, I’m waiting for something. I’m not exactly sure what it is…is it for the clouds to open and lift me into the sky where I’ll have all the answers?
No. I think I’m waiting…no searching, actively searching for what am I supposed to do now? Why am I here in this body, at this time, in this place with the experiences that I’ve had – what is it all for? I know it’s for something – but that’s the piece I’m missing right now. The purpose – this is all for…what?
I believe I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be at this moment. Even, right now, sitting at work feeling wiser, but lost. It’s a little difficult to describe this feeling…I know all this work I’m doing on myself and with myself is necessary and right BUT why do I feel slightly askew? Exhausted may be the word I’m looking for- I mean FUCK when is this shit done? I’m growing, I love it and yet it still hurts. I’m unfolding day by day – as I’m experiencing it on a day-to-day basis it feels so slow – where’s the breakthru, the aha, the grand epiphany that thing that figuratively gives me my wings? However, when I look back at even 6 months ago, I’m so far away from there mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I’m generally joyful, however, that fear creeps in quite a bit (I’m almost 40, how do you not have this figured out yet – your time’s almost up. Or I’m 40 and I don’t have too much time to make any more mistakes, its as if I feel like I can’t mess this up and to be clear, I don’t have a safety net or golden parachute.)
I realized, it's a journey, not a destination. There will always be growth and change. I also learned it's not about what you do, it's about who you are. Who I am is a way maker and I have always been able to help people see the power and beauty in themselves. (I feel like I should mention that the journey into self isn't all love and light - it gets ugly sometimes, but it's worth it all.) Here I am today soaked in love and in full understanding of who I am and it's so freeing and beautiful to just 'be'. Now, I get to spend my time and talents creating transformational experiences for my clients to help them unleash their wings, walk in their purpose and just "be". If you're ready to invest in yourself and unlock all the potential, beauty and power inside of you, let's chat.
This post stirred something up in me. I literally feel my heart weeping because many of us have been in this place yet haven’t been bold enough to share. Thank you for sharing your story. Success is your portion!